Experiencing Grief on Father's Day: A Letter from Addie Durant

As Father’s Day approaches, it can be a difficult time whether you have lost your father, a partner, are an expectant father, or struggle with your relationship with your father. It can serve as a reminder of what you have lost or are lacking in current relationships. While nothing can change the complex feelings people might have around the day, making a plan for holidays, anniversaries, or birthdays often helps ease anxiety and can make the day itself feel more manageable. 

Listed below are different ideas for ways that you can honor the person you have lost. You can do an activity you enjoyed with them, make a meal or dessert they loved, light a candle in their honor, or listen to a song that reminds you of them. It can also be cathartic to create something, so you can write your loved one a letter, journal, write a poem, or draw/paint something. These don’t have to be related to the person you lost but can focus more on holding space for how you are feeling. It can also be helpful to reach out to a role model or someone you admire on the holiday, even if they are not your father.

Being around friends or others who knew the person you lost can also be comforting, and you can make a plan to see them, go to the movies, or walk in a nearby park. Even though it might feel like Father’s Day marks a day of celebration, it can be helpful to reach out to others and let them know how you are feeling as we approach the holiday. 

While it might feel overwhelming, making a plan is often more important than actually following through. Having a plan in place can help ease anxiety surrounding the holiday, and allows for you to make space for your feelings. Most importantly, give yourself and others grace as you navigate complicated emotions or support someone in your life who is struggling.